The "farce" of having it all

The chapter on "Alphas in Love," really struck a nerve with me. I was impressed with Kindlon on the information that the Alpha Girls he interviewed are committed to having loving relationships and children. Unlike Alpha Girls of prior generations, or women that wanted to have strong careers, Alpha Girls, according to Kindlon, don't have to choose between having a careers that fulfills them, while at the same time having children and a spouse. Why does there have to be a choice? I came from a two-parent household where both of my parents worked full-time. While my mother was not at home everyday when I got in from school, I don't believe that it lessened my quality of life. I thought it was almost fascinating to the point of upsetting that many of the pool of Alpha Girls wanted strong careers, to get married later, then have children, choosing then to stay at home. While I believe in the concept that women can make decisions about their own lives, and that includes choosing to work or choosing to stay home, I am alienated by how different this all seems from me and my life, and especially the lives of my students. Looking at the faces of my students, grading papers, entering grades, I have predictions of what I think their futures can hold. For my brighter girls, I see college, graduate school, strong careers. I envision lives where they can take care of themselves, growing and becoming members of society that I know will change our world. Would the choice even be open to girls to stay at home? If they did not work, how would they support themselves? Would society believe that they are on welfare? Would my girls have a "responsibility" to the race to work and have a family?

Subtle Sexism in the Classroom

The AAUW report cited in Kindlon's discussion of alpha girls states: "Boys were given higher-quality instruction than girls and were chosen more often to answer questions in front of the class and then given more time to formulate a response(76)." The report concluded that school systematically cheat girls of classroom attention, by emphasizing competition instead of cooperative learning. The statement caused me to question how do my personal biases affect my classroom? What underlying ideas cause teachers to react differently to students?

Reading Alpha Girls has caused me to become more introspective about how my gender biases impact my classroom. In Language Arts, a subject where girls typically excel, I find myself asking my female students to read constantly. My students have noticed that I call on girls more than I call on boys to the extent that I have to purposefully select boy-girl pairs for each task. While it may improve my female students' self confidence, I am well aware that it may make the boys in my classroom feel unwanted in my classroom. My actions also reinforce stereotypical gender roles in education.

Furthermore, the push to have students succeed individually may also result in gender bias. The report showed that competition amongst students reinforce the boy's ability to succeed, especially in math and science. Girls struggled to feel confident in those subject areas, and the lack of collaborative learning allowed the cycle to continue. With the present encouragement to use collaborative learning versus a group setting are girls excelling more in classrooms? How would using the competition model foster the development of an alpha girl? Is competing in the classroom harmful when a similar model is present in employment settings?

What about the fellas? (Prompt 3)

I was interested to come across a chapter called, "The Descent of Men," with a very silly and unstimulating quote at the top... "There are more girls in college now than guys--which from my point of view is great!" --Sam, 18, freshman at UC Santa Cruz. I cynically began reading this chapter, but stopped when I came across this profoundly interesting quote on page 166:

"Unfortunately, boys don't have the abundance of positive media role models that girls have had in recent years. The hypermasculine male is still very much present on television."

Soon after, Kindlon wrote, "When I speak to audiences about boys' psychology, I often ask parents to try to think of three male characters on television that they would like their son to emulate. Parents are surprised by how difficult this is. Male characters on prime-time television tend to be buffoons, while their female counterparts are increasingly clever and capable."

He is right. I am sitting here now, able to list plenty of positive female role models on television and very few, if any, males. The chapter discusses how men are in the decline in areas of education, wealth, and social status. The lack of positive role models for young men on TV is certainly not helping this cause.

Women are on the rise in areas such as education, wealth and social status, while men are on the decline. Is one a necessary result of the other, or is something greater going on here?

Lydia Gray

"It's important for mothers to recognize that their daughters are psychologically different from them."

Dr. Kindlon wrote the above quote, and it has bothered me long after I read past the page. The premise of this book is based on the new phenomenon of the alpha girl. I don't really believe that the alpha girl is a new phenomenon. Nor do I believe that these alpha girls are polar opposites of their mothers. Kindlon focuses a lot on the way the alpha girl emulates or imitates that actions or characteristics associated with the male. Why does it have to be considered a male characteristic. I think that saying that alpha girls view the world differently from their mothers is not true. Just as progress and inclusion and "tolerance" has progressed all across society, so have progressions in gender relations and achievement. Believing that alpha girls have more a sense of entitlement than their mothers just doesn't gel with me. I see these alpha girls that may not have experienced sexism or have tools in their arsenal to combat it, but they know that sexism exists. I just can't imagine that girls who pride themselves so much on academic success, would turn their noses up at studying the women and the struggles that made their dreams possible. I personally believe the things I believe about what women can do, and what I can do as a female from the example of my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. While their experiences to some extent were vastly different from mine, and many of their experiences I cannot relate to or really grasp the concept of, I still appreciate what those experiences were able to produce for me. Dr. Kindlon has got it all wrong.

Reading this Book from the Perspective of an Urban Educator (Prompt 2)

I think if I had picked up this book at any other time in my life, I’d find it to be an enjoyable and encouraging read. I’d most likely discuss a few salient points from my readings with friends, recommend it to a few people, set it on my bookshelf, and leave it at that. But now I’m an urban educator, and a large part of my life is spent working with students who live in a culture of poverty. I can’t help but bring these perspectives to my reading and understanding of the book. The result is that despite the many encouraging aspects of this book, it always seems to leave me feeling overwhelmingly discouraged. Now, I can’t just set this book on my shelf; now, it almost haunts me.

The book is clearly targeted towards white, middle-to-upper class females. The targeted demographics in the study make this clear: “There are more private than public schools and, given the demographic realities of independent schools, the affluent and white are overrepresented; approximately 15 percent of the interview sample are non-white” (xvi). Each chapter seems to be filled with encouraging data about a new generation of females and the factors that shape them, only to follow with a short disclaimer that the findings do not apply to minorities or to the poor, whether explicitly stated or not. For instance, chapter two is entirely about the positive role of the father in shaping the alpha girl. It goes unsaid that many (most?) of our own female students grow up without a father in their household. Chapter three discusses the importance of adolescence, as students go through a period of exploration which helps to develop their personalities, only to state that, “the process of becoming an adult and the qualities of autonomy…don’t play themselves out…in our culture in the milieu of poor urban children, many of whom are forced into adult roles at a younger age than their more affluent peers and who may not see themselves as having the luxury to explore their options and find themselves” (73).

I’m only on chapter four, so my feelings may change as I continue to read. But for now, why I am viewing this book from such a negative angle? Is anyone else having this experience? I just seem to spend most of the time thinking… okay, this is great, but how will my students beat the odds?

Lydia

Family Matters

Kindlon's discussion about the influence of family on alpha girls emphasizes the importance of strong adult figures during child development. He states that alpha girls are more likely to talk to their mothers about their future career plans and value their opinion. The role of the mother in the life of alpha girls expands beyond emotional caregiver to career adviser. Additionally, Kindlon highlights how male figures in an alpha girl's life allows her to understand and access characteristics that have been commonly associated with males. The major questions that I had after reading these sections of the book were: Will the alpha girls of today be able to develop the same relationships that helped them succeed? How will the success of the alpha girl impact the development of families?

One of the major characteristics of the alpha girl is the presences of choice. While women are no longer shown the "myth of the inevitable domesticity," they face the challenge of balancing their careers and family life. As Kindlon highlights many of the alpha girls are driven by the need to do well academically and in their careers. While all of these attributes are admirable and women should not be limited in their roles, will society accommodate the needs of the alpha girl? While I believe that it is possible for alpha girls to become strong role models for their daughters, some studies reveal statistics that suggest that women face substantial obstacles. For example, African American women struggle to find same-race partners with similar educational backgrounds. Women may also face the challenge of the trade-off of being available for their child (either through maternity leave or childcare) without detracting from their work. Will these obstacles hinder the alpha girls? Will the family structure pay the price for alpha girls' ambition or will alpha girls carve out a new path for their families?

The future of THESE alpha girls?

As I have been thinking more and more about Kindlon's criteria for an alpha girl, I have thought more and more about the age of the girls that Kindlon studied. I think it is extremely important to recognize that Kindlon's study focuses on some middle and mostly high school subjects. This means that the girls he spoke to still live at home, likely in the community they grew up in, and are likely still largely in a place that is comfortable to them. Furthermore, the majority of them came from relatively comfortable homes and had outstanding academic and extra-curricular opportunities. For many of them, the world is their oyster.

As I think about this, I begin to wonder if this makes these girls less aware of the reality of their goals. Do they really have an understanding of how hard it can be for a woman in some of the conditions they aspire to? Are they really prepared for the obstacles that might come their way? In no way do I mean to imply that woman should be limited by society's existing obstacles, but I do recognize that in some circumstances, these obstacles can make what may seem like an exciting, interesting and fun career into an unpleasant experience that, respectfully, even motivated, passionate people are unwilling to suffer through.

I wonder what would happen if Kindlon were to follow these "alpha girls" through college and into their twenties and thirties. I do not doubt that their determination, motivation and dedication would remain but how would their career goals change? Would they still tend toward the more high profile careers? I doubt that their confidence in their own abilities would diminish, but, as an adult, would they be willing to commit to the ambitious, and likely time professionally time consuming and demanding goals that they set out for themselves? What about families? A lot of the girls didn't really prioritize a family in their future but how might this change as they mature?

I'm interested to hear some thoughts!

alpha teachers

Do you consider yourself to be an alpha girl, according to Kindlon's definitions?  And for the men, do you fit the criteria in areas other than gender? (The definition is posted in our group's initial summary, if you would like to see it for reference.)  This book was written while many of us were in high school, and if I had to guess, I would hypothesize that many of the people in this class fit the description when they were teenagers.  When I examine the career paths that many of Kindlon's "alpha girls" want to embark on, however, I notice that out of the many different jobs listed--CEO, writer, doctor, politician, athlete, engineer, lawyer--"teacher" is conspicuously absent.

Why do we think this is?  Is it because 1/3 of alpha girls were "determined to become rich" (Kindlon, 178)?  Or is it because teaching is seen as a traditionally "female" profession, and these alpha girls want to break into a field that has been historically dominated by men?  I think that this question resonates with a point that Molly made in her response to another post: is this where the difference lies between an "alpha girl" and a "powerful woman?"  Is a girl who fits the alpha girl label in high school, but, rather than trying to "break the glass ceiling" in a male-dominated industry, excels in an area where women have historically been accepted still fulfilling her duties as an alpha girl? 

On a related note: if you were an alpha girl (or boy!) in high school, and now are a teacher, what can you do/have you done/do you want to do to make sure that you teach your students how to be an alpha?  I think that as teachers we are all put in a position where we truly have the opportunity to cultivate these traits of leadership, motivation, and dependability in our students, whether they are girls or boys.  How can we do it?  Did you have teachers that encouraged these traits in you?  What did they do to help you succeed?   

Reality or Mentality

The book has some surprising statistics about how much women have progressed throughout the past decade. While I agree that the author does overlook the perception of female trailblazers, he does show how a larger percentage of women are attempting to have the same level of success as their male counterparts. The author believes that the presence of alpha girls indicates "a powerfully accelerating movement toward equality." While I would like to believe that his perception is accurate, his discussion about the ever-present salary gap between men and women and the lack of a strong female presence in Fortune 500 companies reveals an underlying factor that affects the progress of alpha girls. The overall perception of women must shift to support their ambition and overall success. Although powerful girls have existed for years, societies acceptance and interactions with females must alter. The mere fact that these successful young ladies are referred to as "alpha" rather than powerful females raises the questions: is society (especially males) ready for more females that can assert themselves and take charge of their futures? The socioeconomic factors discussed in the first chapters highlights that the discussion should be more focused on how society portrays and responds to these young women as they continue to grow.

Is it a problem that the author is a man?

Despite the fact that I am getting through the book with a lot of interest. I have to constantly pause and ask myself if it bothers me that the author is male. During the introduction, the author acknowledge the team members that made the book possible. He then went on to mention that there was only one female on the team to offer her "female" insight. I remember immediately being thrown by that. Its not that I really would have given it any notice, but when the author mentioned it I began to question was he a good authority to get this information about "The Alpha Girl." I believe that the Alpha girl exists, but I wonder if she always has. David Kindlon presents Alpha Girls as this new phenomenon. What about all the women that came before these Alpha Girls. How do we know they did not carry the same confidence and sense of purpose as Dan Kindlon's version of Alpha Girls. Has Kindlon only been able to notice the Alpha Girl of today because women of purpose and confidence in the professional and academic arena are now socially acceptable? As a man raised in a time where this was not acceptable, is he blind to the Alpha Girls throughout history? Why wouldn't female trailblazers be considered Alpha Girls?

xtreme alpha girl?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=0rbMHLDY1pA

What about the dads?

I found it very interesting that Dr. Kindlon, himself a father of two daughters, chooses to focus an entire chapter of the book on the impact of close relationships between fathers and daughters on the development of these "alpha girls."  Kindlon claims that "closer relationships exist today between fathers and daughters than have existed in the past, and this has had a profound impact on the way many girls think and feel, how they interact with the world, and what they want and expect from life" (31).  Kindlon goes on to cite many examples of girls who claim to emulate their fathers in ways ranging from shared interests to future career paths, and makes the case that these alpha girls have picked up "masculine traits" from these father-daughter interactions.  He grounds this case in examples of physical play that fathers engage in with their children, the interest that many fathers take in their daughters' athletic ability, and cases in which fathers and daughters build radios together, to name only a few of the anecdotes and studies that Kindlon references.  The result of these relationships, Kindlon claims, is that these girls adopt traits from both parents, resulting in a balance of the traditionally masculine and the traditionally feminine.  While I cannot generalize across all of our classrooms--or even across all of the students in my own classroom--I know that many of my students (boys and girls) live in homes where their father is not present.  How does this affect the potential of my female students to become alpha girls?  How crucial do you think a father's involvement (or really, any parent's involvement) is to the success of these girls?  How can a mother or grandmother step in to give these girls what they need if a father is not present?  And finally, if you feel that exposure to and cultivation of these "masculine" traits is necessary for a girl's success, how can we as teachers try to fill these gaps within the classroom?

What about the Baltimore community?

Alpha Girls emphasizes the influence that society and culture has on the psyche of the female, and especially how she sets her expectations for herself. As our culture, and in particular our classroom culture, shifts toward eliminating discrimination for girls (81), girls have begun to set higher expectations of themselves in all areas. However, I wonder about the culture that exists in the communities that we work in daily. For the most part, Kindlon’s research was limited in that it did not address inner city schools in public non-charter schools. How do you think that the culture in these communities in particular could effect the expectations of our girls? What do you see in the culture of your school that either encourages or discourages the ambitious qualities of the alpha girl?

Alpha Girls & Poverty - Lydia Gray, Prompt 1

I just finished reading the Introduction and Chapter 1, and cannot help but to think about my own girls in my inner-city classroom. Few truly fit Kindlon’s definition of an “alpha girl”—3.8+ GPA, at least one leadership position, participation in extracurricular activities, high self-rating, and a high achievement motivation score. I’d classify three of my female students as “alpha girls”—far less than 20% of the girls I teach. Which has me thinking, that although we may live in a society where woman do not have to fight the battles over equal rights, we still live in a society where your life trajectory is severely limited by poverty and class, if not by gender. These gains in women’s rights may appear across socioeconomic strata, but they are less widespread among low-income and minority girls.

On page 13, Kindlon asks the question, “Has social and economic equality for men and women been achieved?” We may be close, but until every student is given equal access to a quality education, this question barely factors into the lives of the many American girls growing up in poverty.

What are your thoughts about the dynamics between the "alpha girl," socioeconomic status, and class?

Lydia

Alpha Girls - Overview

At the heart of our journey into cultural understanding is the idea that to teach our students effectively, we must understand them. Harvard University professor and child psychologist Dan Kindlon claims that the stale stereotypes of teenage girls are quickly losing their relevancy. In Alpha Girls, Kindlon argues that the image of the teenage girl as an insecure, competition averse, math and science averse wallflower no longer suit much of our population. In a series of surveys and personal interviews, which took Kindlon across the United States and through parts of Canada, he found that many girls are confident, bright, competitive and thirsty to make their mark in society. According to surveys he developed for this book, about 20 percent of girls fall into the “Alpha Girl” category.

To locate these “alpha girls” Kindlon produced a set of five criteria, which describe the typical “alpha girl”. These criteria are:

1. A GPA of 3.8 or higher

2. At least one leadership position in her school, extracurricular life or social life

3. Participation in extra curricular activities which minimums ten hours per week

4. High achievement motivation score based on her desire to:

a. Attend college

b. Own her own home

c. Make a great deal of money

d. Obtain a well-paying job

e. Build a good reputation in her community

f. Study hard to obtain good grades

g. Work hard to get ahead

h. Save money for the future

5. High self-rating for dependability

Alpha Girls outlines a series of factors that contribute to this shift in attitudes and realities of teenage girls. An increased presence of fathers in raising their children, increased freedom in available choices, movements made by feminism in previous generations and more women than men attending American universities are all billed by the author as pieces of the “alpha girls” puzzle.

Where Alpha Girls offers many answers for us as Americans, it raises more questions for us as educators. By the author’s own estimates, only 20 percent of girls qualify as “alpha girls”. How should we engage them as teachers and how should we engage the other 80 percent? How does this impact the self-esteem of boys in our classrooms?

We invite our colleagues to explore these questions and many more that will be raised here in the coming weeks as we attempt to gain a greater understanding of the “alpha girls” inside our classrooms and out.

Candace, Lydia, Millicent, Kyla, Chantress, Shaterra, & Danielle