As I have been thinking more and more about Kindlon's criteria for an alpha girl, I have thought more and more about the age of the girls that Kindlon studied. I think it is extremely important to recognize that Kindlon's study focuses on some middle and mostly high school subjects. This means that the girls he spoke to still live at home, likely in the community they grew up in, and are likely still largely in a place that is comfortable to them. Furthermore, the majority of them came from relatively comfortable homes and had outstanding academic and extra-curricular opportunities. For many of them, the world is their oyster.
As I think about this, I begin to wonder if this makes these girls less aware of the reality of their goals. Do they really have an understanding of how hard it can be for a woman in some of the conditions they aspire to? Are they really prepared for the obstacles that might come their way? In no way do I mean to imply that woman should be limited by society's existing obstacles, but I do recognize that in some circumstances, these obstacles can make what may seem like an exciting, interesting and fun career into an unpleasant experience that, respectfully, even motivated, passionate people are unwilling to suffer through.
I wonder what would happen if Kindlon were to follow these "alpha girls" through college and into their twenties and thirties. I do not doubt that their determination, motivation and dedication would remain but how would their career goals change? Would they still tend toward the more high profile careers? I doubt that their confidence in their own abilities would diminish, but, as an adult, would they be willing to commit to the ambitious, and likely time professionally time consuming and demanding goals that they set out for themselves? What about families? A lot of the girls didn't really prioritize a family in their future but how might this change as they mature?
I'm interested to hear some thoughts!
What an interesting post! I would love for Kindlon to follow these girls into their journey as career women or to explore how they manifest themselves in a world where success is not limited to academics and extracurricular activities. I too agree that the confidence and motivation would not be diminished, but I definitely think it would be tried and tested as they continue to grow and begin to experience more substantial problems outside of middle and high school as as their own understanding of the world begins to grow. Maybe it is this girl, a girl who can adapt easily to the growing demands of adulthood that will be the real alpha girl.
ReplyDeleteWhile you mentioned that many of the girls did not prioritize having a family, I do think this aspect will change. In today's society, I believe the alpha girl, in her 20s and 30s, is the girl that wants to have it all including a successful personal life, a powerful career, and the role of being a mother, when for many having a successful career would an example of society's existing obstacles for women wanting to have a family. Having it all is the alpha girl's measure of being ambitious and achieving goals.
Molly
I too, would love to see the paths that these girls follow as they develop. Undoubtedly, their priorities will change and their experiences will reshape their goals.
ReplyDeleteAs exciting as it is in high school to look at life as an all-you-can-eat buffet, at some point, most people need to pick one entree. The rest become sides. As much as I truly want to believe that it doesn't have to be high profile job OR family, I think that to achieve both, the alpha girl will have to have an abundance of support and be understanding of the demands of every facet of her life.
Look at your, Beka, coming in with such a sweet food-related analogy! You are right on.
ReplyDeleteJust thinking about my own development from high school, through college, and now into TFA, my dreams have changed so many times. Given, I am not an alpha girl (I don't think? haha), but like you said, at some point most people do pick on entree.
The fact remains that when you are in high school - whether its a highly successful one, or a low-performing one - the world seems like its at your fingertips. For some people, they follow their high school dreams through. For many, plans change when you grow as a person.
I would love to see the author follow this students into adulthood in order to truly test their research. I, for one, do think much would change, including their dreams and priorities, but who knows.
Kyla, I was really interested in your post because it caused a lot of self-reflection. These alpha girls--our peers--are now at the same point in life that we are: fresh out of college, a year or so into the work-force. I know that when I was in high school my peers, teachers, and parents would have expected me to be, at this point, studying molecular biology to be a cancer researcher. Instead, I teach kindergarten. I've also started thinking a lot more about how I want to fit in a career with the family that I know I want to have. Because I (and I think many of our peers!) have been thrown into thinking about these things more seriously upon entering the work force and watching our co-teachers, principals, and, from afar, the CAO balance their families and careers. I do think it's possible to do both, but I think that it's much harder to do both things to the degree that I would want to than I thought in high school. Like you, I'd love to read more about Kindlon's alpha girls as they grew, if only to see if my own feelings are echoed across a larger group!
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